ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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