he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
