so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
