Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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