so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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