I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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