He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
