No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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