She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
