he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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