I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
