The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
