You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
