He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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