Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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