i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
