Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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