it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
