i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
