i can't believe i had my finger in that
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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