Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize