Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
