i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
