VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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