I'm drive I can fine osifer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
