WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
