I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
