absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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