two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
