I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
