talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize