Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
