doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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