I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
