is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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