Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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