Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
