Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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