idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
