I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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