I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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