I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
