My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
