my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We are all done wearing pants today
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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