I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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