Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
