Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Pants are for mortals
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
