I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
