with your own penis?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
