im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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