are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
