Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
