You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
