If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
