Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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