So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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