you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's blow job season.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
