I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
